


Lisa can suck my ass, Harry

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Boxer Harry, Calm Harry, Cussing, Fluff, Gay, Gay Harry, Gay Louis, Harry and Louis - Freeform, Kids, Larents, Louis REALLY hates these hoes, Louis is stuck at a PTO meeting, M/M, Mad Louis, Non famous Larry, Non-Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis, Oneshot, Parent Harry, Parent Louis, Parents Larry, Sassy Louis, based off of a tumblr prompt, fluffy larry, harry loves Louis, it's just Larry, larry - Freeform, larry fluff, larry stylinson - Freeform, larrystylinson, like a lot, lots of cussing, louis loves harry, one direction isn't a thing in this, they have a kid, trying to add tags is hard lol, with these two moms he really hates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 11:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6193546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis' stuck in a PTO meeting with the two Soccer moms that won't shut up for a second about peanut butter, and third graders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lisa can suck my ass, Harry

_' Listen bitch- '_

_' Mr. Tomlinson! '_

_' Sorry, but this Linda bitch needs to be put into her place. She obviously_ _doesn't know the struggle of- '_

_' My fucking name is Lisa. '_

_' Shut the fuck up, Lint. I'm sick, and tired of you always trying to curve me at PTO meetings when you know damn well I have the best ideas for these third graders. '_

_' Listen Louise, I don't know what type of dildo is stuck up your gay-ass this time, but you better pull your shit out of subspace, and get it back into common sense. These plans are pure shit! '_

Louis was about to start swinging in the next 5 minutes if Harry didn't hurry up with that slow ass Chevrolet Red minivan ( they should've gotten the fucking Buick if it really took this long to drive 10 minutes to the school that's literally down the street ). 

He'd been pumped this whole morning, listening to the I Am... Sasha Fierce album by Beyonce, readying himself for this meeting. Every month, Karen and Lisa always tried to team up on him thinking he wasn't ready to be an ' official PTO parent ', for  _one_ fucking time he let Jace bring peanut butter to school, when it was a nut-free zone. He couldn't give two shits about his status with the PTO and school, but those hoes tried his patience, and obviously want a little rivalry. 

'  _Baby, not everything is a competition. They probably just don't_ _know how good of a dad you actually are yet, you should give them a chance._ ' Harry would always say to Louis after he came home seething from another patience-testing meet up in the cafeteria with all of the Soccer moms, and the ones who get the bumper sticker that says ' All-A Honor Roll '  _every_ year.

Unfortunately, for Louis, Karen and Lisa were both of those.  

They were the Christian, TV-Y7 until my kid's 13, abstinent, annoying ass mothers who believe the tiny gay man yelling at them has no right to even be talking, let alone be apart of PTO.

 

'  _We can all work something out right? '_

The principal had gotten tired of this shit too, as she's been dealing with situations like this since August. 

Lisa was digging the dirt out of her pink nails, while her side-bitch Karen was sending Louis a glare from across the office in which the Principal would genuinely do anything to exit from.

'  _No. These ' women ' ,_ ' Louis started, using the air quotation motion with his hands, '  _won't even listen to anything I have to say. I forget one fucking time that one of their wimpy ass kids can't handle some peanut butter, and they hold a grudge against me for the rest of the year. '_

 _' Excuse me, Gina. '_ Of fucking  _course_ Lisa would pull the personal card with the principal, and use her first name. This was obviously some form of manipulation, to try and trick her into thinking they were friends. 

'  _But, Mr. Tomlinson cannot seem to understand that Summer actually has a very deathly allergy to peanut butter. I mean, coming from one mother to another, you can understand how worried I was. How could I trust him after an incident like that? '_ Lisa stated trying to sound sad, placing her hand over her heart, pouting. What even  _was_ this bitch? 

'  _Lisa, you should've known there was going to be an ' incident ' sooner or later,_ _sweetheart. Summer, by the way who the fuck names their child after a fucking season of the year? Summer, should have known too. What kind of child are you raising that literally asks for a peanut-butter fucking sandwich when she's ' deathly allergic ' to that shit. I mean, what the fuck else does it look like, other then shit? Either way she was asking for either a peanut butter sandwich or she thought that shit was a literal shit sandwich, in which both she can not eat. My kid was just kind enough to not be a bitch and share, because he's a sweet little angel. Now if you don't mind me hoe, I think your daughter needs to step up to the plate, and explain why she accepted that meal in the first place. '_

_' Are you inferring my child is ' d u m b '? '_

_' Well, I wasn't fucking saying she was smar- '_

Before Louis could finish his rant, a knock was heard at the door. The principal jumped out of her seat, racing to open the door getting a fresh air of what feud-free oxygen feels like. Instead when she opened it, her senses filled with a mint smell, as she looked out to see Harry smiling gently at her, waiting to be welcomed in. She felt so bad that the man had to be pulled from such a drama free environment into a cat fight so quickly. Now or Never, right? 

'  _Aahh, Harry! C'mon in! '_

Karen had been going off on Louis for saying ' _the only way you'll get laid again is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait_ ' . He'd been saving that one for quite a while, but was glad he had, or else he would've been using an already used insult, and Louis was not an unoriginal hoe, that's for sure. When they heard the door click open once again, all eyes turned back to the door watching a tall curly haired man walk into the small room with a Packers t-shirt on, and some grey sweatpants. Louis, could feel the extra two sets of eyes still lingering over Harry in disbelief.

Louis smiled to himself, watching Karen and Lisa go quiet for a second. They'd never seen who his alleged ' husband ' was, and always assumed he lied about being married to a ' YSL Model Worthy ' man.  _These hoes really didn't know who they were fucking with._

'  _Hey baby._ ' Harry said kissing Louis' cheek as he sat down in a seat identical to his, smile still showing his dimples, drawing his attention back to the principal. 

The principal always favored Harry over Louis ( just a bit ), and always assumed he'd be the one to sign up for PTO, but he'd presumably been too busy with with his boxing career. No one would ever assume a man like Harry, so chill and calm, would be into fighting others for a living, but that's what made him feel like he could protect his family. He only did the best for them, and Louis fell head over heels for him for the very same reason. 

The tattoo littered arms were soon reaching out in front of him, signaling as a gesture to shake hands with the women ahead of them, but Louis was having none of that nice harry shit right now. They needed to be a powerful couple, at the moment. So, before Lisa could get her filthy boney hands wrapped around Louis' husband's own fingers, he pulled away Harry's hand and put on his serious face, rather then the just recent fond face. 

'  _Don't try to act innocent now, Lisa. You wanted to start a fight, let's go. '_

Lisa rolled her eyes at Louis, and Harry could visibly feel his husband go tense. If he didn't try to calm the smaller man, he would be dealing with two screaming ladies with bloody noses, and a heated Louis; neither did he want. 

'  _Louis, your husband is obviously nothing like you. He seems to know how to handle a situation clearly, so why don't you let him do the talking now, hmm? '_

_' Lisa, your husband is obviously going bald from that annoying mouth you run every minute, so why don't you shove a stapler up you- '_

Louis was hushed by a hand flying up to cover his mouth, knowing Harry was the one stopping him from talking any further. The principal took control of the conversation immediately after realizing where it was about to go. 

'  _Alright, why don't we think of a solution for this little problem we have? '_

'  _Well, yeah but we might need options. Not everyone can seem to agree on everything we have to say. '_ Karen said, stealing a glance at Louis right after, and smirking. 

Harry rubbed a hand on Louis' thigh, calming him down. Without Harry, he really honestly would've been put in jail already. 

'  _Yes, well, maybe we should cancel PTO meetings for a while then. Get everything settled, since winter break is coming in a few weeks. Maybe, after that we could come back and see how things handle themselves then! Sound like a plan? '_ She looked really tired, and bored, but the principal was always right, I guess.

'  _Not seeing him for a month? I'm in. Let's go Karen, we're car pooling today '_

The two problematic women got up grabbing their purses before fixing their hair and walking out of the office. Louis and Harry, shortly following after. 

'  _Oh wait, babe, can I use the restroom real quick? '_ Harry really had to pee sitting through that little session. 

'  _Yeah, I'll wait out here. '_

_' Alright. Be right back. '_

As Louis was waiting for Harry to finish in the restroom, he heard a click. 

_Click. Click._

The fucking clicking could only be coming from heels, of course. And, Louis had an idea of exactly who's heels. 

_Click. Click. Click. Click._

_' Oohhhh Hiii Louise! '_

In front of him parked two middle aged women, wearing too tight of shirts, in Louis' opinion. They had they're purses slung around their arms, and their arms were crossed.  _What the shit do they want now?_

_' Ooooh Lint roller, and Kit-kat, look at you! The muffin tops are looking spot-on! '_

_' Shutup, Louis. Did your fake husband already leave yet. He was a really good actor, babe. '_

_' First off hoe, don't call me 'babe', and second, you raw uncooked chicken, he's my actual husband. We've been married longer than your saggy tits. '_

They both did not look very pleased with Louis, and was ready to start something again. Little did they know, so was Louis.

Karen decided to speak up for once, '  _Louis, maybe you should consider using one of our yoga videos. You're thighs are looking pretty rough there. '_

Louis had, had enough. He was ready to claw these ladies' faces off. The hairless cats standing obnoxiously in front of him were about to get what they _deserved_. Louis reached his hand out and yanked a chunk of Karen's Hair swinging her head down, and was about to bring his knee up into her face, when Harry came from behind him, and realized the position all too well. He quickly dropped the paper towel drying his hands, and jumped into action. 

Grabbing Louis from behind, he lifted the smaller man up and hoisted him up over his shoulder, trying to get him from yanking Lisa down as well. He was attempting to fling himself at the pair, thrashing in Harry's death grip. Walking away from the scene, Louis shouted down the hall once more, giving the girls one last message before he would be walking out of the school on the shoulder of an about six foot tall Harry, steaming with rage. 

 

'  ** _See you after Winter Break, bitch! '_**

**Author's Note:**

> PTO louis is my fav louis 
> 
> also Harry's a boxer let''sssss goooo


End file.
